Reality TV it’s a genre many people indulge in as a guilty pleasure.
The story you miss from reality TV
You’re coming back froma two-year hiatus in reality TV.
How would you describe your past journey with “The Real Housewives”?
Then it grew more toxic every year.
Can you elaborate more on that feeling?
There is a sense of misconception when it comes to reality TV.
You have one set of individuals that capture your reality.
Then you have another set of individuals that piece together a story of your reality.
The traumatic part of it all is once it’s shown on TV.
It can be very toxic.
To think about even coming back into a situation like that …
It can be a little scary.
I didn’t think that they were able to see the business side of me.
They saw glimpses of everything.
That was one of the major things that was a stain.
Now you’re starring in “Love & Marriage: DC.”
How is this experience different from what you described with “The Real Housewives”?
What I love about this show is the fact that there are three couples who are real couples.
That’s what I loved.
The whole filming process was very genuine.
It was just “be me” show up and be myself and be open and vulnerable.
We have very social friendships.
One of the ladies that is a part of the show, she’s a friend of the show.
We go back a long, long time ago, so our friendship is one that is very social.
We never hung out with each other.
We never “kiki” on the phone or anything like that, so there was growth.
I wouldn’t say that there are any challenges.
You just live your life.
There’s so much that you’ve got the option to do in this area.
There’s so much to do here.
You could never be bored.
What was the journey like filming with your husband?
It was very different because my husband is not as comfortable in front of cameras as I am.
He was always short of words and it was a lot of me doing the talking.
Nobody wants to see that, so I will keep a scene going.
I will keep talking.
I will keep pouring out.
He is quite the opposite.
He’s very reserved.
He’s an overall private person.
When we were on Bravo, all of that was more so on me.
It’s not an option.
We didn’t get to hear a lot about what he thought and his take on certain things.
Did you learn anything from them?
Did they learn anything from you?
The couples that I chose were couples that I had social relationships with.
I met Erana [Tyler] on Instagram, talking to her and DMs.
I actually met her at an event there, and she and I remained in contact ever since then.
I was a part of her podcast she has a podcast called “Fun Time Moms.”
We collaborated with my podcast, the “Not For Lazy Moms” podcast.
From that, we always stayed in touch on a social level.
They seemed very open to the process.
The show is a hit because of them.
You spoke about your online community, “Not For Lazy Moms.”
From your experience, how can having an online community help moms?
I watched all my cousins, my little brother.
I was that girl that always had a baby in her hand.
I really thought that when I became a mom, I knew everything.
I thought that I would be fully prepared for motherhood.
Once I gave birth to my first son, I realized how unprepared I was.
I said, “I cannot be the only one.”
How do you get by?
How do you get through?
How do you get out of the house and have both shoes matching?
How are you able to keep yourself together and balance it all?
We cover everything natural remedies and alternatives for you and your whole family.
We cover maintaining mommy.
Then we have lifestyle tips, such as potty training.
I started potty training all of my children as soon as they were able to sit up.
My son and my daughter were both six months old.
[We’re] giving those different tips of things that people don’t realize is possible.
The traveling one is a very important topic.
We have all kinds of videos on the website, “how-to” videos and everything.
It’s been a really fun community.
How did you come up with the title for the platform?
“Not For Lazy Moms” was a play on words.
One day, my six-month-old daughter had a double ear infection … my older son was a toddler.
She was like, “Wow, this is not for the lazy.”
I was like, “That’s it.
Not for lazy moms.”
It’s a play on words because being a mom is the exact opposite of lazy.
This community is for you if you are a mother.
Either way, it takes so much from you to put in the work to raise children.
In other words, it’s for you.
I was kind of bullied into starting it by my fans and followers on Instagram.
I’m like, “Oh, well, I don’t have my own.”
They’re like, “Well, let me know when you have your own.”
This kept happening so much that I was like, “You know what?”
During the quarantine, I said, “I have the time.
Let me go ahead and look into this.
Let me see if I can find an amazing source for getting 100% pure therapeutic essential oils.”
And that is exactly what I did.
That was our soft launch.
Within four days, we were sold out of darn near the entire store.
By the time we actually launched, which was January 1, 2021, I couldn’t believe it.
I was having sales every day from the time we launched the website.
Even into today, it’s like business it’s been mind-blowing.
They were like, “No, you’ve got to start your own company.
We want your oils.”
I was like, “All right, let me look into it.”
I had the time to do it.
I looked through your website, and I saw the Namaste oil.
I have it right here.
It has rose in it.
I’m actually wearing that today.
It’s so funny I just did an intuitive healing session with my intuitive healer.
But she’s adjusting my energy and she’s like, “What is that you have on?
It smells so good.”
I’m like, “Oh, I’m wearing Namaste.”
I really had to prioritize.
I had to slow down and step back and see what all could I handle legitimately.
What do I need help with?
I also homeschool our children.
Every day is a pretty full day.
We allot Monday through Friday to get everything done.
Saturdays and Sundays are chill days.
I rarely have anything planned on Saturdays and Sundays.
We have our movie day.
We like to sit in the house on the couch, or we get in the pool.
It’s [about] prioritizing: What is most important that needs to be done right now?
I typically plan out my life by quarters.
For each company, I’ll have what my target list is for the quarter.
I do it by quarters every year, and I check off things as they go.
If I don’t meet a goal that quarter, I simply move it to the next quarter.
Then I do my best at checking off what comes first and what takes most priority.
I learned how to take the pressure off myself by realizing that I do not have to control everything.
That was a huge life lesson that took me years to learn, and it works for me.
Now I don’t sweat the small stuff.
That’s a great tip.
I’m going to have to try that quarterly tip.
Oh, it works.
You actually see, “Whoa, okay.
Out of the 20 things that I had, I checked off 12 of them.
I did do something.
I may not have gotten those eight done, but I did do a lot.
I did the majority of what I needed to do.”
you’re able to’t have it all.
you might’t do it all.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I shouldn’t have an excuse."
Then we put so much pressure on ourselves.
It’s looking at what priority is most important and then not being afraid to ask for help.
If you need help, part those lips and ask.
Having solid people around you will help you to push forward.
Episodes are also available to watch on the OWN website.
This interview was edited for clarity.
